Big Dreams Demand Big Achievements

Thank God for everything that He has done in my life and all of the lessons that I've been shown. I am starting on a new adventure as of late and I am learning how to adjust to life outside of the oil field. It took me a long time to realize that there was such a thing.

I went to go eat with a friend earlier and it was such a great time as always. I am so very thankful for his friendship. Its great to actually have someone ask me "tough" questions. Its great to have someone encourage you when things get tough. I hope that a lot of people view me as that type of friend to them. But back to the whole idea of this thing of learning about myself. I have been on this whole self-help kick for about a week now and it is so awesome. Im not like reading these "dont kill yourself" books or anything but just somethings that encourages me to be a better me. I am a firm believer that God has a very specific plan for each of our lives but when did being broke down and heartbroken ever get into that equation. Jesus said that he came so that we may have life and may have it more abundantly. Through Jesus we do have an abundance of life but we also have to work for that abundant life. I don't think that we can sit lazily and let God do all this work while we reap all the blessing. It is also said that he who sows sparingly will reap sparingly but he that sows bountifully will reap bountifully. To me that means that we have got to get off of our butts and work for God. We are called servants but when did the servitude get taken out. All we want to do is reap reap reap. In my opinion its time to step up to the plate and live for God and accept the challenges that He gives to us. Its not like He is asking us to build an ark and get 2 of every living thing on it. He may just be asking us to talk to a neighbor about His love. He may be just asking us to build a community of believers to lift one another up. Am I saying that there wont be obsticles in our path? No, I am asking what are you going to do when you get to that point. Are you going to look and say well I can't get over it and then give up on God's purpose for your life or are you going to say "God I need you now more than ever, you are going to have to get me over this because, on my own I have no chance." Kinda weird tothink of this but the movie "Employee of the Month" w/ Dane Cook just came to my mind. Obviously that is not the most religious movie but I think that it does have a great principal that we all need to learn in it if you pay attention to it. He tells the story of why he is merely a box boy after all this time rather than advancing. He tells how he used his grandmothers retirement to start up a business and that business flopped so he just gave up on everything. He never wanted to take a chance like that, that could end in failure. Well none of us want our lives to end up in failure but its not always the victory or loss that God is trying to give us. A lot of times its the underlying lesson that has much more effect. Dont take failure personally. Don't take rejection personally. Take a step back and look at the entire situation and learn the lesson that God was teaching us. Look at things through God's sight not our own.

Now I am the guiltiest of this if anybody is guilty. I have always lived my life and just hoped that God would take care of everything. Through my new job I have realized that the old saying of thats just life is a bunch of CRAP! As a kid we all have huge dreams of being the president, playing pro football or baseball, or being a doctor, or singing. What happened to those dreams? I personally wanted to play pro-football. I remember my dad asking me as a kid what it was that I wanted to be when I grew up and I very specifically remember telling him that I wanted to play football or be a country music singer. Now I believe that we all will appreciate that I didn't chase after the singing career. I promise your ears are greatful. But I remember my dad coming back with a very tough comment of "Ha very few people will ever get to do those things. You should think about something else." I personally believe that it is comments like that, that take away our childlike dreams and even more our childlike faith. Now I know that my dad wasn't trying to extinguish me from ever dreaming, he just knew the reality of the chances of me doing either and voiced it to me. Those are the comments that provoke the saying of "well thats just life." I very muchly disagree with that statement.

There is a sign in our office that I believe says "If you can dream it, You can achieve it." Now on that note, the achieving might not be easy. It may seem unobtainable. But I promise there are ways to get you where you want to be. I am learning to change my attitude from one of looking for God to give me everything to one of giving God everything and letting Him put the puzzle pieces in place to get me where I want to be. My goals right now are to have my truck paid off by next March. Have $10,000 in my saving account. And reach Regional Vise President at Primerica by April 2010. Now none of those goals are gonna be easy at all. None of them will just happen over night and none of them will make themself happen. Now a broader goal of mine is to work as if I was working for the Lord and let Him put all those things into place whenever He see fit.

I am still His son

John Waller
"Still Calls Me Son"

I drug his name through godless places
And I’ve known shame that no child of his should know
I’ve seen pain on broken faces
Beyond all thought of hope
I was just too far from home
Still I always wondered when I closed my eyes

After all I’ve done
Could he run to me?
Would he kiss my face?
Could he even look at me?
After where I’ve been should he take me back?
I would understand I’ve disgraced him
But it would be amazing
If he still calls me son

With nothing left for me to bring him
I left my pride and turned my heart toward home
I saw my home on the horizon
And from a distance I saw my Father
Watching for his own with forgiving eyes

After all I’d done
He just ran to me
Then he kissed my face
He would not let go of me
After where I’d been
He just welcomed me I didn’t understand
But he put his robe on me
It was so amazing
That he still called me son

One day as I breathe my last
And I know my days on earth have ended
When every hour is spent
I will close my eyes in amazement
And I’ll hear angels
They’ll be singing

Amazing Grace
Cause he will run to me
And he will kiss my face
He will not let go of me
After where I’ve been
He will welcome me
I won’t understand
How he’ll put his robe on me
It will be amazing
That he’ll still call me son

Amazing grace how sweet the sound
When he calls me son
I once was lost but now I’m found
Cause he calls me Son.


What an amazing and humbling song. I have heard this song a few times but it really hit home today that God...God of the universe, God of creation, God of heaven and earth stands each moment with arms stretched out waiting for me to return to Him.

I know that so many times in my life I think that I have done some unforgivable things. I seem to think that the God who raised the dead can't forgive me for some sin. I am just so thankful that the God of everything cries out for me. Who am I that someone so soveriegn desires my company. What mercy for all of us that no matter what we do we are welcomed home with arms open wide and tears down the face of our savior. WOW! Just sit for a moment today and just think about that and try to get a mental picture of all the emotion that is present when we turn back to our Heavenly Father. I can just picture God running out to us, like the song says, with tears rolling down His face and us hanging our head in shame when he pulls His robe off to wrap us up and love on us.

I am just so thankful for coming across this song. I am so excited that He sees worth in me. I am also very excited that He has a plan for me and is using me and using some people in my life in great and amazing ways in this city.

"God you are the great and awesome God. I am humbled by your grace on my life and the fact that reguardless of how bad I feel like I have screwed up you still call me son and you still love me as if I was a new born babe. Thank you for your mercy. Thank you for your son Jesus and the blood that was shed so that I may have a personal relationship with you. I stand in awe of your love for me. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen."

Who was I?

It was just brought to my attention that my life has not always led people in the right direction. ha duh!!! I just reciece a message from an old friend that I knew in high school and she had seen me at a church here in Angelo a couple of weeks ago and she was congradulating me for my new found salvation. At first I was kind of offended, but then I realized that my testimony to her in high school was obviously not one that showed her that I was a christian. WOW! That is deffinately a 1, 2 punch for someones pride. It really struck me and again I started thinking about how many other people either have no idea who God is or have a bad impression of who God is because of my behavior in certain times of my life. Its tough to take something like that when you have been a Christian since you were 6, but, it again sure humbles you and gets your focus back on track. That is one of those things that people that know you well would never tell you but it takes someone who has just a basic knowledge of who you are to really give you the truest and clearest image of everything about you and they do it in a way that is not offensive at all, but makes you think. Again I see how my life and the grace and mercy that I have been shown has impacted people that I never even thought of it impacting. It is amazing to me how God uses every little bitty thing about us for His glory. I am soo humbled by all that has happened and the grace that I have been shown.

I look around at my life and I am so excited in most things but I really wish that some things were different. I guess things just aren't the way that I had imagined them being. I am struggling right now with getting started with the new job and struggling with some other situations that have come up over the course of the last couple of months. Why do we let the unkown have such an impact on the here and now? I have always just let certain situations and certain things get to me in a way that I absolutely hate. Why, especially with my past and new found faith, do I let things that I have no control over control me? I think that we all do this to a degree. We try and manipulate ourselves into thinking that we are in control and in all reality we don't have control over anything. For instance I dont care how well your dog is trained, if it wants to turn on you, it will. We do not have control over this thing that we call our life so why do we let it control us? That question may never have an answer that makes us all say, "WOW". I know that I have said that God is in control and I have heard that all my life but rather than saying it lets start living it.

I have also felt that I have to be the strong arm in any situation. I grew up with 3 sisters and that alone will make you tough. probably tougher than having 3 brothers. But I have always felt as though I have to be strong and I can't let anyone see my pain, struggles, or heartache. I feel like I have to be this man made of steel and never let anyone know what is going on with the real Cody Keel. It is so frustrating to be this person. It is so frustrating to have such a huge burden put on your shoulders. Now I know that people dont expect all this from me but rather I have put this weight on my own shoulders. I want to let go of this. I want to be the one that gets help from time to time not the one that feels I have to help everyone around me. I have to let people live their lives and let them make the decisions they feel are right and let them follow what they know God is calling them to do. I have to quit letting me get in the way of God and myself. Sadly I feel like I have to quit giving my all and going "all in" in a lot that I do. That is pretty tough for me because I have always been told that if your going to do something then do it with everything that is inside you. Do everything with as much passion as you have and if you can't do that then don't get involved with it. That is probably one of the biggest reasons that I have been hurt by relationship after relationship. I put my all into someone and either they are automatically freaked by that a lil or they use that against me. Each and everyday I think back to the old saying of nice guys always come in last and now looking back as much as Ihate to come in last, I would rather come in last and have something with meaning and substance than come first and end up in a relationship like what I have been in before. I guess that I am just throwing myself a pitty party and need to grow up but I dont care. I sit and look at both of my roommates that are engaged or fixing to be engaged and I say to myself, "When is it gonna be my turn to have a relationship like that." I just begin to wonder whats wrong with me. But hey, as much as it sucks I honestly would rather come in last as a nice guy that has done things right, than the guy that came in first and has been shady about things. I guess I gave myself all the answers that I was looking for today a few days ago when I wrote the blog about why I quit the last job with Aquafuzion. I won't put my morals and standards in jeopardy because of anything. And anyone that ask you to do that is not a friend and not a anything that I want to be involved in.

That is why I love blogging. I always find that God can use so many different things to shine a little light on what your going through right now and give you some peace about things through looking at something that has no connection other than the moral of the entire story.

By the way I just did something that I never thought that I would do. I just thanked someone for turning me down again. Talk about a wierd day.

Where is the rewind button for life?

Tonight i had a very weird emotion overcome me. In talking with a friend I found myself feeling guilty for what she and her sister have been and are going through. I look back and just wonder how many people that I could have impacted in a positive way over the last 4yrs of my life and instead I wondered around chasing things that were if anything were impacting them negatively. Every new story that I hear from this friend, brings on this emotion of guilt that runs thick through my soul. I wasn't there for her during all these very tough and challenging times that she has been through. I wasn't there for her as she was beaten by her ex. I wasn't there for her or anyone else in the last 4yrs. I wish that I could get those years of my life back with the knowledge that I have now and make much wiser decisions and take care of all those great and true friends all around me. I just look around all the time and see everyone that I used to run around with back when I was doing things right and it almost seems like everyone is stuggling and I am the hypocrit because at one time I was doing just the same things as they are doing now. I just hate the fact that I have lost 4yrs of my life to the things that I was involved in. I hate the fact that I can never make up for that. And mostly I hate the fact that I couldnt help those that needed me then and are struggling now to sort through all the pieces of brokeness and heart ache to see where they fit in this complicated thing of life. Like the title of this says "Where is the rewind button for life?" But seriously I am really struggling right now with my past coming back to haunt me. How long does it take before we see that all things work out for good in the end. When am I supposed to get this feeling of all is forgotten? Or does that feeling ever even come?

Now I am not saying that living the way that I am now that I don't see that nothing is better. I see the many blessing that God gives me each and every day. All I am saying is when can I look back and see that those 4yrs are 4yrs of time that will and has impacted someone so greatly that everything isn't done in vain? Because right now all I can see is that I wasn't there for friends or family that needed me. I wasn't there when they needed me the most! When does that guilt go away? When does the pain of watching and listening to stories and watching life begin to heal?

Its so hard to see that God will and can use everything for His glory given that we allow Him to. I know that things take time to play out. Whats the old saying...The greatest things in life are worth waiting for. I know they are but its this regret that brings us down to the dark gloomy valley in life where it almost seems that there is no end in sight. I hope that I will soon rise above the fog and see the positive impact that I will have on many people through God. But please keep me in your prayers and please please please don't live your life in a way that you will ever have this burden of regret! I love ya'll.

Hopefully the last day with Aquafuzion

So my day started this morning around 8:30am. I woke up and got ready for work and then got to work at 11am which is the time that my boss had instructed us to show up. So anyway I got to the office and I was the only one there. Well come to find out the group from Abilene was running late and said that they were going to be there at noon. So I leave and run a couple of errands and then return to the off at noon to find out they were still 30mins out. Now keep in mind that the boss that informed us to be there at 11 was apart of this group that showed up at 12:30 and not 11 as she instructed. But anyways we finally got gathered together and then went out in teams and started knocking on doors which is something that everyone loves to do, but then it is all the sudden 7pm and now the want to start doing demos for people. Just a lil piece of knowledge for you a demo takes about 2hrs. So at this point I am hungry and mad that I am working oil field hrs and not getting paid near oil field wages. So we gather up out at good ol Lake Nasworthy and wait for our boss to get an appointment cleared and then we take on this appointment at about 8pm. Initially the demo went great. I couldn't have asked to be trained and showed how to do something by someone any better. BUT, then it came down to pricing and things started rolling down hill from there. Now me out of all people understand finances and financial situations. Remember I was an alcoholic for 2yrs and then I just got laid off from my job 2weeks ago. So anyway the monthly payment was a lil high for this couple and so we worked it down quite a bit but it was still too high for the husband to accept the terms. Fair enough. Right? WRONG!!! The guy that just did a great demo for this couple started this determined car salesman language that deters me from buying anything from him. Reguardless of how good the product is. Well after speaking and dealing with this couple it seemed as though the pricing was still too high and I thought that we were packing up and leaving, at now 11:45pm. Well little did I know that while I was outside talking with the husband my trainer was inside coaxing his wife to get his credit info so that they can meet tomorrow and make the deal final. Will this product save them money? Yes. Is this product a good investment? Yes. But did the husband agree to the terms? NO! Now I don't know how you feel about this situation, but I do not think that that was the ethical thing to do. This was a very good couple with a very young little girl and to me it was like my trainer just came in and got in between the couple and talked a good game and made a decision for this couple that should be made by the couple. That, to me, is just wrong. And furthermore, if that is what they are expecting of me....I just can't do that.

Why does money drive people to do things like come in between a couple like this one. Now the guy that was traing me is going to get a $750 commission off of the sale, but to me $750 in my pocket is not worth coming between these fine people with this little girl. I would have rather left the house on good standing with both the husband and wife and not have made the sale than get than get the money and cause the wife to do something like steal this man's identity so that their credit will be approved for something like this.

Now on a positive note....the husband kinda got the gist that I am not real sure about this company and gave me a card for a friend of his to call and try to get a different job. Now I am in a crossfire. This man trusted me enough to offer me something that could very possibly be a better job and my co-workers are sneaking around him to make a sale to his wife through his credit. Its just wrong and everyone one there tonight will agree to that but the dollar sign was just too tempting for my co-worker. Hopefully it does not effect my opportunity to get the other job because I will not be associated with anything like that again. I stand by my honesty and integrity and I am not willing to trade that for any dollar amount.

Now tell me... Am I right in this or am I just over reacting?

What's It Gonna Take?

I am going through a test right now and I look back at my own life and I ask myself what is it gonna take or what did it take to change something in me.

Why do we just go through life with the same expectations? Why is it that we just say "thats just the way it is." Well my question to you is this...Why does it "just have to be that way" Life does not choose the path that we take. Life does not choose what we do. We do! Hello!?!? Is anyone listening? I make every decision about my life for myself. I, may decide to do something and that something is just my idea. It was just my want. Or I add something to my decision making that will make me look for the best way or the best thing to do. But even still that is my decision. Life does not choose for you to go to work at the same boring job and struggle every month with your bills. You choose to do that. Even in todays time there are still other jobs out there. Now this one here hits me pretty hard. Life does not choose those christians to have a close relationship with God and those who don't. We do. I choose whether or not I am going to grow in every aspect of my walk with Christ.

When are we going to stop looking around at everyone else and say man I wure wish that I was like that and make a stand for ourselves and go do it.

Life does not choose you. You choose life.

Its not what you can do for God, but rather what are you allowing God to do through you. Mercy Me sings a lyric "If the idea is mine...Its nothing but a waste of time."

I get so tired of looking at my life and see me go down the same roads over and over again and then look around when I get to the end and I am in the same situation that I was before and say I have no idea how I let it go this far. It gets on my nerves when a close friend or family member says the same hting to me. We make our own choices in this life. Are we going to make a mistake and say " Oh well, now I know what to look for." Or are we gonna say woah I will stay completely away from that road because that is where it all started and I wound up broken and hurt." Well if your not sure, the second response is the correct one. I used to be an alcoholic and I know that if I go to bars everynight that I will be right back into the exact same lifestyle that I was involved in before. I have to say to myself that I will stay away from bars and alcohol so that I may stay sober and remain sober.

I now know how so many people felt as they watched me go from someone with goals and dreams to someone that drank myself into a world of pain and aguish. You seriously just want to punch them in the face and say "WAKE UP RETARD" but we all know what kind of reaction that would trigger.

I love everyone that reads this and those that choose to turn away from it. I just want to give you a "pep talk" on life. I hope that I can encourage you to just better yourself and get out of the same rut that you have been stuck in for how ever long. God is strength. Call on Him and call on other people that are in your life that will lift you up.